St. Peter Martyr

I’ve had a Headache for 5 days. I’ve done the Physio, taken the pills, taken Laxatives and Migraine tablets and muscle relaxants (Diazepam). I’m Hydrated, I’ve slept well. But the Headache won’t shift. Last night I had an odd and new experience – I got the urge to smash my head against the wall in a bid to get rid of the pain. Almost did it but the sensible calm bit of me stopped me. I’ve lain on a cold floor, I’ve had showers (hot and cold). It’s still there. Over my blind right eye and into my face (at the moment). Last night it was at the back of my head, like someone vast and powerful was crushing where my head meets my neck. Stress is involved (thank you ESA50 and the DWP), and the changing atmosphere and weather. But knowing doesn’t help. All I want to do is sleep or frantically do ‘stuff’, which I can’t control (yesterday it was cleaning and shelving books – I couldn’t stop myself). Eugh. This is how I feel: peter martyr.jpg

This is a detail of ‘St.Peter Martyr’ by Carlo Crivelli (1476, Tempera on Poplar wood)- an Italian Renaissance artist I really like. Highly stylised but also stylish and interesting. We’re very lucky in the UK to have a lot of his work – full image and info here:

The knife in the heart is also apt as I’m suffering from chest pain. I have 4 things that  cause chest pain – Acid Reflux, Costochonditis,Scoliosis and Hypertension. At the moment I have no idea which of these bastards is doing it. I’ve had a lot of Acid Reflux, but I think all four are working together. So at the moment I have ‘Active’* pain from my head to my waist. Life is fun. Eurgh again.

*New pain, not the background, constant , chronic pain, I call ‘Active’ pain. Like a Migraine or a cut.

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