At my Mother’s death in October 2015, I was given 2 Orchids. I don’t like Orchids. One came from a loved neighbour, and the other my estranged Uncle. I decided to try my best to keep them alive (well, not actively kill them). They have survived up until now, but need some TLC. I’ve been meaning to re-pot them since September, but never managed it. Orchids need special compost and pots. Luckily the craze for them as ornamental plants means that my local Homebase* has the Special Stuff needed to deal with them. But could I get there? I’d need a lift from Dad and for all the stars to align. Recently my stars have been off. I’ve been sleeping but getting no rest. I’ve not been eating and then gorging. And I’ve felt odd. But I became determined to get this shit done after noticing the shrivelled leaves of my Uncle Plant. Once glossy and, ahem, engorged, these leaves were dismal. I mentioned my Homebase need to my Dad last week: but failed. However today we managed it, and I’ve just re-potted the bastards. Today is a red flag day. I’m awake, I don’t feel grotty. Yesterday was the opposite. I ate so much, I had two dinners. I ate cheese on top. I got a migraine style headache. My scalp burned. Though I went to bed early, I didn’t sleep. My Calligraphy course tried to kill me again. It was all bad. I didn’t think I would manage today – but it’s happened. If nothing else, I’ve done a long planned chore.
Last week I was diagnosed with Dysphonia – a problem with my throat/ speaking parts. Apparently last year’s sore throat was Laryngitis and it’s left part of my speaking parts not working. This leads me to have a cracked voice and also to my voice just not being there. It’s pretty random when it happens. The ENT guy told me I have to drink more water, massage my throat and… cut down on caffeine. Now I’m not a big coffee person, so that leaves tea. I’ve upped my water, I’ve rubbed my throat, and yesterday I got De-Caf Tea. I was worried it would be horrible. I’m very particular with my tea. I’m not a tea snob (I kinda wish I was, I wish I had something that involved special equipment and was rare, but I’m common as muck), I like PG Tips, pale and sweet. And I have only 3 cups I use at home. So I found the De-Caf PG Tips (in Waitrose** – I didn’t buy cheese!) and did the biz, and it’s ok. I can definitely feel in my throat when I’ve drunk too much caffeine, so I’m hoping that this will reduce that feeling. I’m glad that I’m able to do the ‘right thing’ – that advised by my ENT and not find it awful. The ENT also wants me to have an operation on my SSCD – to plug the hole in my head. It was a new ENT and he was very positive about the operation – and was honest about the risks and their interest in me. The risk is that they’ll damage the nerve in my face and I won’t be able to move the left side. And that it won’t heal. They’re interested because a ‘genuine’ (??) SSCD is rare. I wonder what a ‘fake’ SSCD is?
Feeling better today has made me realise just how rotten I’ve been feeling recently. And how topsy-turvy things have been. My eating has been erratic, my mental health has been erratic and I’ve just felt awful. I must keep an eye on this – particularly how I feel after food, and when I want to eat. My mammoth session yesterday (chicken breast, fries and corn cob, then chow mein and ribs, less than an hour apart…) was properly abnormal. I still woke up wanting to eat. I’ve been told the Quetiapine will make me pack on pounds, but is it making me want to eat everything and then eat nothing? Hmmm.
*Homebase is a general DIY store in the UK. It has a garden section and now a catalogue shop – Argos. The many eyed God is an odd name for a catalogue shop.
**Waitrose is a fancy grocery store that sells artichoke hearts as a basic food and whose in store butcher has Ox cheek. It has a lot of cheese.